Don't Preach on Planes

Admin V saw a video that annoyed her

Admin V here. Last week a video of a woman who decided to stand up and preach to a plane full of trapped passengers went viral in certain circles. Yeah, my exvangelical ass would rather die than get trapped in that situation.

And while I recognize that the easiest thing to do would be to put on your headphones and ignore her, that wouldn’t be any fun. And I don’t think I want to reward that behavior and make her think that it is socially acceptable to preach to a plane full of people who can’t get up and leave. So here are some ideas of things we could do.

1. Heckle. This was my first idea. I can be an asshole. And I’m reading a lot of Dungeon Crawler Carl lately. Every time she mentions Jesus, I’m going to make a comment about Princess Donut the Queen Anne Chonk. And then, I might toss in some “Glurp Glurp.” or “HI ZEV” for good measure. Basically, I am turning it into a Princess Posse fandom meetup.

2. I posted about this on my page and people suggested a sing along. The songs we came up with were American Pie, Bohemian Rhapsody, and Country Roads. I’m pretty sure that the human race is contractually obligated to sing along. At least enough of us to overpower the voice of the preachy girl.

3. I will start reading the scene from Pride and Prejudice where Mr. Collins proposes to Elizabeth Darcy since we’re doing book club. And this girl is the most Mr. Collins to ever Mr. Collins. And that is an insult.

4. Challenge everything, she says until she cries. I know a lot about the Bible and Christianity. Stand up and ask if everyone on the plane had heard of Jesus. Tell her, see, she didn’t need to preach, all the people in the plane had been reached for God.

5. Call the flight attendant and request that she return Miss Preacherpants to her seat.

Preaching to people who don’t want to hear what you say is faith affirming for the speaker. It is not meant to convert others. If you get heckled or whatever, you can say “I’m being persecuted for my beliefs.” And that makes you feel good. If you don’t get heckled, you can tell yourself that you did something good. Either way you win.

But not the people who are stuck listening to you. They lose either way. Maybe they are like me, deconstructed and annoyed with religion. Or they could be people who believe differently than Miss Preacherpants. Or they could be annoyed that they are stuck in a shiny metal tube being forced to listen to a young woman who knows shit about life tell them that their life would be so much better if they followed Jesus.

One of my favorite likely apocryphal quotes is “Preach the gospel always. If necessary, use words.” Basically, it is a reminder that Christians are to take care of the world around them and to be kind. That is preaching the gospel without words. I don’t like street preaching and door knocking. I quit going to a church in my 20s because they wanted me to evangelize. My preferred churches are churches that take care of their communities. The ones that feed the hungry, house the poor, and comfort the bereaved. As I’ve stated firmly, I’m not a Christian anymore, but I truly believe that if Christians could figure out how to care more about the living than they do about souls, the world would be a better place and no one would stand up on a plane to share the good news. And that alone, would be a blessing.