Especially for Greg Bovino

SoL Fam always comes through! Text and screenshots below.

Read every single word of this. If Greg comes to your house, you’re locked and loaded...with this verbal ammo.

MINNEAPOLIS REDDIT POSTER: I found out last night that I know Greg Bovino’s family personally. We grew up in the same town and went to the same High School and college.

Now I’m a Minneapolis resident but I didn’t always live in Minneapolis. Once, long ago I lived in a quiet little mountain town of Boone, NC. Guess who else grew up there? A pathetic squat little toad named Gregory Bovino. Well, that squat little toad grew up to be a squat little Nazi toad who has decided to come to my beautiful adopted home to torture, murder, and terrorize my friends and neighbors. He is personally going door to door, so if you see him, here’s a few very specific things from home you can politely yell at him:

“Hey Greg! Remember how your Dad murdered a woman in Blowing Rock while driving drunk? Like father like son I guess.”

“Hey Greg! You’re the reason your dad got drunk and killed that woman in Blowing Rock which lead to your parents divorce. I guess that means you’re the reason they got divorced.”

In case anyone is wondering, the woman his father killed was named Janie Mae Mitchell. I’m sure he’ll remember the name if you want to yell that to him.

His father used to run a bar called the library club. After his DUI he had to sell the bar and it hit the family pretty deep. Greg is sure to be sensitive about it if you want to name drop the Library Club bar.

“Hey Greg! Do you think it’s weird that the Watauga High yearbook has you listed as “Most Likely to Shit His Pants in Public?”

“Hey Greg, your history teacher ‘G.I. Jones’ thinks you’re a pathetic Nazi punk. No wonder you failed all his classes.”

“Hey Greg! Did you know your mom is a register Democrat? Does that make Thanksgiving awkward?”

“Hey Greg! Remember when the Mast Store banned your for sniffing shoes after people tried them on?”

“Hey Greg! Do you remember eating the Watauga Pioneers wrestling team’s soggy biscuit? Is it still gay to eat to eat semen off a Bojangles biscuit or was that just an 80s thing?”

“Hey Greg! Watauga High still thinks you’re a loser!”

“Hey Greg! Boone, NC fucking hates you.”

“Hey Greg! Remember when you fell into the porta-John at the Valle Country Fair and they couldn’t find you for hours and people just came in and kept shitting on you and shitting on you?”

“Hey Greg, remember when Mr. Combs found you jerking off to Nat Geo magazines in the high school bathroom?”

“Hey Greg remember swimming at Trash Can falls and your swim suit fell off and all the girls laughed at your micro penis? Watauga High still remembers.”

Just name dropping a lot of stuff from Watauga County / Boone / Blowing Rock, NC aught to get under his skin.

EDIT: it’d be a real shame is #GregBovino #SoggyBiscuit started trending

EDIT 2: while I’m usually opposed to AI on ethical grounds I figure there’s no point being ethical with Nazis. Anyone had the skills to generate images of Greg Bovino enjoying Bojangles cinnamon biscuits dripping in icing?

EDIT 3: Watauga is pronounced “Wah-Tah-Guh” we were sometimes jokingly called “Wata-ooga” by rival schools